Struggling with Your New Year’s Resolutions? Here are 4 Ways to get Back on Track

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5 days ago
3 min read

By the end of January, many people feel discouraged about their New Year’s resolutions. The motivation that felt strong on January 1st has faded, routines haven’t stuck, and self-criticism starts to creep in. You might find yourself thinking, “Why can’t I follow through?” or “I knew this wouldn’t last.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing — you’re human. And there are very real reasons why resolutions often fall apart quickly.

Why Resolutions Don’t Last

Most resolutions fail not because of a lack of willpower, but because of how they’re designed.

1. They’re Built on Pressure, Not Reality

Resolutions often emerge from:

Guilt after the holidays
Comparison to others
The urge to “fix” yourself

When goals are rooted in shame or urgency, they’re hard to sustain once life returns to normal.

2. They’re Too Big, Too Fast

Many resolutions are ambitious and vague:

“Work out every day”
“Eat perfectly”
“Be less anxious”

Big goals without realistic steps can quickly lead to overwhelm and burnout.

3. Motivation Is Temporary

Motivation naturally fluctuates. When goals rely on feeling inspired, they tend to collapse once:

Energy dips
Stress increases
Routines get disrupted

Sustainable change requires structure, not constant motivation.

4. All-or-Nothing Thinking Takes Over

A missed day often turns into:

“I already failed.”
“I’ll start over next week.”
“What’s the point now?”

This mindset keeps people stuck rather than helping them adapt.

What to Do Instead: Problem-Solve, Don’t Scrap Everything

Quitting a resolution doesn’t mean you should give up on yourself. It means it’s time to adjust the approach.

Step 1: Identify the Real Barrier

Ask yourself (without judgment):

Is this goal too time-consuming?
Does it clash with my energy level or schedule?
Am I trying to change too many things at once?
Was this goal truly mine — or something I felt I should do?

Understanding the obstacle helps you make targeted changes.

Step 2: Shrink the Goal (Radically)

Smaller goals are more effective than dramatic resets.

For example:

Instead of “work out 5 days a week” → “move my body twice a week”
Instead of “eat healthier” → “add one nourishing meal per day”
Instead of “be more mindful” → “pause and breathe once a day”

Progress grows through repetition, not intensity.

Step 3: Shift From Outcome to Process

Instead of focusing on results, focus on what’s doable:

When can I realistically fit this in?
What support or structure would help?
How can I make this easier, not harder?

Process-based goals are more flexible and less discouraging.

Step 4: Replace Shame With Curiosity

If you notice self-criticism, try asking:

“What can I learn from this?”
“What does my nervous system need right now?”
“What would support look like, instead of pressure?”

Change sticks when people feel safe — not when they feel attacked by their own inner voice.

Redefining “Success” in the New Year

Success doesn’t mean perfect follow-through. It means:

Noticing what doesn’t work
Adjusting with honesty
Continuing without starting over completely

You don’t need a new year to begin again. You just need a more compassionate plan.

When Extra Support Helps

If you notice that:

You frequently set goals and then feel overwhelmed
Shame or avoidance quickly takes over
Anxiety, depression, or burnout interfere with follow-through

Working with a therapist can help you explore the emotional patterns behind motivation, perfectionism, and self-expectations — and build goals that actually fit your life.