Letting Good Enough Be Enough: The Role of Self-Compassion in Real Change
- jillian
- Jun 30
- 3 min read
Why does "good enough" have a bad rep?
Somewhere along the way, “good enough” became the emotional equivalent of settling. As if choosing grace over grit means giving up. As if kindness toward yourself is weakness. In therapy, we see the fallout of that belief every day—clients who are doing so much and still feel like they’re falling short.
But here’s the thing: “good enough” isn’t giving up. It’s grounding. It's realistic. It's necessary. In a world that expects us to excel in every role—be productive at work, emotionally available in relationships, physically healthy, mentally resilient, socially graceful—good enough is not just acceptable, it’s essential. It’s how we create space for rest, self-compassion, and realistic change.
Perfectionism Doesn’t Create Growth—It Chokes It
When your inner critic runs the show, everything becomes a performance. You might find yourself procrastinating out of fear you won’t do it perfectly. You reread emails ten times. You second-guess your decisions long after they’re made. And when you do accomplish something? It never feels like quite enough. Sound familiar?
Perfectionism can present through a range of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral patterns, including:
Cognitive distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking: Individuals may interpret anything less than perfection as a total failure, reinforcing cycles of self-criticism and hopelessness.
Conditional self-worth: A deeply held belief that one’s value is dependent on achievement, productivity, or the approval of others—often internalized from early attachment experiences or societal reinforcement.
Protector parts (from an IFS lens): Perfectionism may function as a protective mechanism, shielding more vulnerable parts of the self from shame, criticism, or emotional exposure.
Experiential avoidance, as understood in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Efforts to maintain perfection can serve as a strategy to avoid discomfort, uncertainty, or perceived inadequacy—often at the expense of alignment with core values.
So while perfectionism looks like it’s helping you stay motivated, it’s actually keeping you stuck—in shame, indecision, and self-doubt.
So What Actually Does Move You Forward?
This might surprise you: it’s not more discipline, structure, or high standards. It’s self-compassion.
Why? Because self-compassion creates the safety you need to take risks. To try new things. To get it wrong without spiraling. To face discomfort without collapsing.
Therapy helps clients develop this capacity through small but powerful shifts:
Changing the tone of your inner dialogue from punishing to supportive
Recognizing progress over perfection (because showing up imperfectly still counts)
Decoupling identity from performance—you’re a person, not a project
Trusting that failure isn’t the end of your story—it’s often the beginning of a deeper one
Letting Go of Perfect Can Be a Form of Pride
This time of year—June—we’re surrounded by messages about pride. And while we honor and celebrate Pride Month for all it stands for, there’s a broader invitation here too:
What if being proud of yourself didn’t require perfection? What if pride could come from progress, presence, and persistence?
At TheraCorp, we believe that real healing begins when you stop trying to earn your worth and start living like it’s already there.
So What Does “Good Enough” Actually Mean?
“Good enough” means:
I took a break instead of burning out
I said what I needed, even if my voice shook
I tried a new coping skill and got halfway through
I chose connection over control
I honored my energy, not my to-do list
It’s not about lowering your standards. It’s about redefining success in a way that’s sustainable, nourishing, and human.
Final Thought: What Would Change If You Treated Yourself Like Someone You Loved?
If that question stings, that’s okay. It stings because you’re ready for it.Letting good enough be enough isn’t settling—it’s a radical act of psychological safety. And self-compassion isn’t a luxury. It’s a skill. One we’re here to help you build.
Whether you're navigating anxiety, identity, burnout, or big transitions—your growth matters.Not because it’s perfect. But because it’s yours.
Want to dive deeper into these concepts with a therapist? We’re here to help.
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