Building Resilience in Young People: How to Talk About Mental Health Without Fear

We want our kids to be safe, healthy, and happy—and when we see signs of emotional distress, it can be hard to know what to say. Many parents and educators worry that talking about topics like depression, self-harm, or suicide will put ideas in a young person’s head or make things worse. But research—and clinical experience—shows the opposite: when done with care, these conversations can be protective.

Let’s break down how to talk with kids and teens about mental health in ways that are age-appropriate, supportive, and evidence-based.

Start Early: Normalize Emotional Conversations

We teach children to brush their teeth, cross the street safely, and wear a seatbelt—but emotional safety is often left out of the conversation. That needs to change.

Even from a young age, it’s helpful to:

• Name emotions out loud (“You look frustrated—is that how you’re feeling?”)

• Model emotional expression (“I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a break and breathe.”)

• Validate their experiences (“It makes sense that you’re upset.”)

These early lessons form the foundation for emotional resilience later. Children who grow up in emotionally literate homes are more likely to ask for help when they need it.

Don’t Avoid the Hard Topics

It’s a common myth that talking about suicide makes someone more likely to attempt it. In reality, research shows that asking about suicidal thoughts does not increase risk. Instead, it opens a door to safety, connection, and support.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be present, compassionate, and willing to listen. Here’s a helpful starting point:

“Sometimes when people feel really sad or overwhelmed, they might have thoughts about hurting themselves. Have you ever felt that way?”

This kind of direct, calm question can make a child or teen feel seen and safe. If they say yes, thank them for trusting you—and get them connected to a mental health professional.

Tailor the Conversation by Age

Every child is different, but here’s a general guide for developmentally appropriate conversations:

Elementary School (Ages 5–10)

• Use simple language (“Sometimes people feel so sad that they need help from a counselor.”)

• Focus on safety, not blame.

• Reinforce that emotions are normal and manageable.

• Avoid graphic descriptions—keep it gentle and focused on support.

Middle School (Ages 11–13)

• Discuss concepts like stress, anxiety, depression, and coping skills.

• Talk about peer pressure, social media, and self-esteem.

• Begin introducing concepts like therapy, support groups, or school counselors.

High School and College-Age (Ages 14+)

• Be more direct: Ask about thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

• Address the reality of stress, pressure, and identity struggles.

• Encourage autonomy while offering consistent support and check-ins.

• Discuss safety plans and emergency resources if needed.

What to Say (and What Not to Say)

Helpful things to say:

• “You’re not alone.”

• “I’m so glad you told me.”

• “It’s okay to feel like this. Let’s figure it out together.”

• “Have you thought about talking to a therapist?”

Avoid saying:

• “But you have so much to be grateful for.”

• “It’s not that bad.”

• “Just cheer up.”

• “You’re being dramatic.”

Remember: You don’t have to fix it. You just have to show up.

Recognizing Warning Signs

It’s important to know the red flags that may signal a young person is in distress:

• Withdrawing from friends or activities

• Decline in school performance

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Talking or joking about death or dying

• Giving away possessions

• Sudden calm after a period of depression

• Self-harming behaviors (cutting, burning, etc.)

If you notice these signs, don’t panic—but don’t wait. Reach out to a professional.

Collaborate on a Safety Plan

If your child or student is at risk, a safety plan can be a lifesaving tool. Work with a mental health provider to create a step-by-step plan that includes:

• Warning signs they might notice in themselves

• Personal coping strategies

• People they can contact in a crisis

• A list of safe environments and emergency resources

Final Thoughts: Connection Saves Lives

Mental health challenges in youth are real—but they are also treatable. And one of the most protective factors for young people is having even just one adult who is consistent, caring, and emotionally available.

That adult could be you.

Your words matter. Your presence matters. Keep the conversation going.

Resources for Parents & Caregivers

• 2NDFLOOR NJ Youth Helpline – A confidential and anonymous helpline for NJ youth and young adults (ages 10–24) to talk about what’s on their mind. Call or text 888-222-2228.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 anytime for free, confidential support.

• The Trevor Project – Crisis services and support for LGBTQ+ youth: 866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678.

• Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide (SPTS) – Resources for parents and educators: sptsusa.org

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) – Educational materials: aacap.org

Need Support?

At TheraCorp, we offer outpatient therapy and medication management for children, teens, and adults throughout New Jersey—both virtually and in person. If you’re concerned about a young person in your life and want help navigating the next steps, we’re here to support you.

Reach out to learn more about how we can help your family take that next step toward connection, clarity, and well-being.