6 Ways to Lighten the Weight of Grief During the Holiday Season

For many people, the holiday season brings a mix of emotions, and grief can make this time of year feel especially tender. For those experiencing grief or loss, this time of year can feel especially heavy. Traditions that once brought comfort may now highlight absence. Familiar songs, gatherings, and rituals can stir memories that feel both precious and painful. If you are grieving during the holidays, it is important to know that your experience is valid, and you are not alone.

Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

Grief does not follow a schedule, and it does not take a break for the holidays. You may feel sadness, anger, numbness, longing, or even moments of joy followed by guilt for experiencing them. All of these responses are natural. One common myth about grief is that there is a “right” way to feel, or that certain emotions should appear at certain times. In reality, grief is deeply individual. Rather than trying to push emotions away or “stay strong” for others, give yourself permission to feel honestly. Grief needs space to be acknowledged in order to heal.

Release the Pressure of Expectations

Holidays often come with unspoken expectations—how you should feel, how you should participate, how things are “supposed” to look. A prevalent grief myth is that time alone heals all wounds, or that after a certain period you should be “back to normal.” Loss permanently changes us, and expecting yourself to function as you once did can create unnecessary pressure. It is okay if this year looks different. You are not obligated to attend every gathering, continue every tradition, or meet anyone else’s expectations of cheer. Adjusting your plans is not avoidance; it is adaptive care.

Honor Your Loved One in Meaningful Ways

Another misconception about grief is that remembering the person you lost will keep you “stuck” in pain. In truth, avoiding remembrance often intensifies grief. Many people find comfort in creating a gentle way to acknowledge their loved one—lighting a candle, preparing a favorite recipe, donating in their name, or sharing a story. Maintaining a continuing bond can be a healthy and healing part of grieving, especially during the holidays.

Balance Connection and Solitude

Some believe that grief should be handled privately, while others feel pressure to remain socially engaged to “stay distracted.” Neither extreme is necessary. Healthy grieving often involves a balance of connection and solitude. You may crave quiet moments one day and companionship the next. Allowing your needs to change does not mean you are being inconsistent—it means you are listening to yourself with compassion.

Practice Gentle Self-Care

A common grief myth is that self-care should make you feel better quickly. During loss, self-care is not about eliminating pain; it is about supporting your nervous system and emotional well-being while you carry it. Small, consistent acts—rest, nourishment, movement, and emotional boundaries—help create steadiness during an unsteady time. Even modest care matters.

Seek Support When You Need It

Many people believe they should be able to grieve independently, or that seeking help is a sign of weakness. In reality, grief is not meant to be carried alone. Support from trusted friends, family members, grief groups, or mental health professionals can normalize your experience and reduce isolation. Reaching out is not a burden to others—it is a courageous step toward healing.

Remember That Healing Is Not Linear

Grief is often described through stages—such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but these stages are frequently misunderstood. A common myth is that grief progresses in a straight line or ends once “acceptance” is reached. In truth, these stages are not sequential, and you may move in and out of them over time. You may even experience multiple stages at once.

The holidays can intensify this process. You might feel moments of peace or gratitude, followed unexpectedly by sadness or anger. This does not mean you are regressing or failing to cope. It means your grief is responding to meaningful reminders and emotional significance.

Healing does not mean forgetting, detaching, or “moving on.” It means learning how to live alongside loss, allowing both sorrow and love to coexist. Over time, grief often becomes less overwhelming, but the connection remains. Each emotion you experience is part of your body and mind’s effort to adapt, remember, and heal.